and then…

It isn’t all roses. Sometimes you have to smell the garbage too. Sometimes you may have to sit there and experience the worst. Maybe even bottom out. It doesn’t need to be a dramatic whirlwind of “terrible” in order for it to be your lowest point. There are dozens of movies and tell-all memoirs by has been celebrities that hit rock bottom using narcotics or alcohol for one reason or another. That may not necssarily be your story.

Life has a funny way of stopping you dead in your tracks sometimes…it happens while your making other plans. Just when you think everything is status quo, everything is gone. Or is it? It’s now just dramatically different. When we think of loss it usually denotes death. But loss can mean so many things. Loss of a job, of a home, of a friend, a lover, a status, direction. We often hear, from well meaning people-“It will get better/easier”. Untrue-it only changes. It changes as you do, as you adapt to your new normal. You learn to cope in some way, sometimes healthy, other times- not so much. You’re allowed to fall apart. Cry your eyes out, question why…. and then you have to do something else. As much as you’d like at that moment choose to stop existing, it isn’t real. There are reasons and people that need you for other things. So you must. You must for you.

We’ve all been hurt. Maybe you’ve experienced something that you now believe defines you. We all have scars. Some people choose to live according to them-constantly blaming the “it” or the “him/her” for where they are. Others live around them. The scar exists, it is there as a reminder of your strength and resiliency. You have a story to tell, a person to remember, a time in your life when things were easier/happier/different. If you allow yourself to believe that it will never be again, that will be your reality.

Sometimes when you pick up the pieces, people will marvel and ask you how you can possibly be ‘okay’? The truth of the matter is, they may be asking for you to show them how, because they want it too. Tell them how far you’ve come or haven’t, but either way help them if you can. We all will have our own lowest point…and then. And then we begin again.

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