Imagine if Christmas was every day, if you could make a list of wishes for someone to read and then give you. What would you ask for? What do you really r e a l l y want..? This time of year people share their greatest desires, things they wouldn’t normally ask for. It’s a time of giving and perhaps even indulging in luxuries we wouldn’t normally allow ourselves. There is something about the spirit of this season that inspires us to take that risk and dream big. We become a little less practical and a little more hopeful.
We all remember what it was like as a child when you tore open the paper and therein lay the gift you’d been begging for. Writing it on your list, drawing pictures of it to mail to the big guy at the north pole, walking around the house for months talking about it. Then all of a sudden there it is, in a box with a pretty bow, just like that. Of course it didn’t just appear- someone heard your wish and acted on it. Maybe they stood in line for hours on a cold night to score the gift, maybe they ordered it from across the world and waited patiently for it’s arrival, making sure to keep it a secret as best as they could.
Now that you’re an adult wouldn’t it be nice if people still made your wishes a reality? Besides the things you can change/manifest for yourself we obviously have wants & needs from our relationships with others..the question is are they aware of what it is you want? I mean do they get it? Many times we assume that people understand what we want or expect from them-wishful thinking. That’s assuming they can read our minds or understand our very personal, intimate feelings. The trouble is you and your partner, your best friend, your colleague, your mother/father/brother/sister are two entirely different people. You have built a relationship on the things you’ve come to know about them through what they’ve shown you, told you and what you’ve experienced together. The trouble comes in when you stop sharing your expectations. People can’t be, do or uphold their end if they aren’t clear.
It’s amazing how much it matters to someone when you actually pay attention. There is such a dramatic difference between being heard and being listened to, being expected to do something or being appreciated for it. There is no way to know the difference unless you are both being truly honest. People hide their feelings for all sorts of reasons. They are afraid to face them, they are afraid to put in the “work”, maybe they are concerned about hurting the other person.
Here’s the reality-“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James Arthur Baldwin
Don’t assume that that someone knows what is going on for you. TELL THEM. Whether you have to write it out in words, speak it to them ,take them somewhere that matters to the both of you- write it, say it and go there. You won’t always get a second chance. To think it will just fix itself, that it will go away, that it will get better or easier if time just passes- is wishful thinking.
If you have to pretend every day is Christmas-so be it, make your list of the things that matter most- the things you really, r e a l l y want and present it to those you love… you deserve that gift and so do they. It’s going to take work on everyone’s part-TRUST ME. And hey if it doesn’t work out, it was wishful thinking 😉