Learning is a gift- even when pain is your teacher.

There are so many things in life we cannot possibly plan for or expect. Curveballs and blindspots that weren’t evident from the open road. Times when the bottom drops out just when you were sure of your footing, that you were firmly planted on the ground. That every little detail was just right and now you could go ahead and focus on the next thing.

People don’t plan for a sick child, a loss of a loved one, a career, a divorce, of letting someone down tremendously, of starting life all over again at a ripe bold age unexpectedly. It may take a while to realize how greatly their everyday life will be effected and how adjusting to their new normal can mean all kinds of emotional turmoil. The mood swings, the good and bad, the days of heavy boots. When you feel like no matter what you do you can’t escape the burden, like your trudging through the mud, like how dare you ever laugh at anything ever again.We tend to like the Hallmark & Lifetime channel versions of life. 

These are usually the instances when you’ll have to get through something, even if you’d like to check out, get over it or maybe around it -avoid it altogether. Whether you like it or not, you’re much better served in the long run moving through it, no matter how painful it is or challenging or seemingly endless. The point of through is that there is another side, there is something at the end even if you can’t see it clearly. What you need my friends is good company. You need people who will roll up their sleeves and help you, the kind that aren’t afraid to get messy, will give you their shoulder, their hand, their wallet if necessary. The kind that never expect repayment of support. The ones who do it because you are worth standing next to for your through.

Sometimes you might throw a punch or a line that may sting, unintentionally because you are stressed beyond imagination or the lack of clarity make the lines blur. “Love me when I least deserve it because that’s when i need it most”. Here is where you might need to give tough love.

Tread lightly when offering  “I’ve been through that, I know”, because no matter how similar our situations, their that is very different than yours. Just comfort them however you know how, make them laugh until it hurts or kick their ass back into reality. Even if right now, it’s not a reality they like. Make them understand that their now is only the present moment and the beauty in what’s to come is that it’s likely worth waiting for.

I wish for you to not have many “throughs” this year. I wish you the faith and determination it will take if you do have to go through…I promise you will find strength you never even knew you had if it comes to that.

Whatever you do, reach out if you can, however you wish, to those around you in the midst of their throughs.
We all need people for the through part.

Martina McBride
I’m gonna love you through it.
I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

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