It has been a while since I’ve written and it’s so amazing to me when someone will say “What’s going on? We’re waiting”. That is such a gift. Truly from the bottom of my heart-thank you to anyone who has taken the time out of their lives to read what I have to say. There are times this is my outlet, my vehicle to express myself without actually using the word “I”. Here I write what I have heard collectively from others, what I see as common threads woven throughout our lives.
When I have a reader who reaches out to say “me too” or “I have a friend I know who should read that one” I am beyond myself. We are all the same. Sharing a very similar human experience. We only tell ourselves no one understands because we’d like to figure it out without the embarrassment of admitting we don’t know it all. That somehow that makes you a stronger, better person. FALSE. Whoever that person is that you think has it all figured out-doesn’t. And they didn’t get to where they are alone or by accident-it was either through hard work or with help. Even if they are just one of “those” who seems to have things handed to them, it never comes free. There will always be emotional or financial binds. The happy, the sad, the scary, the lonely, the thrilling, the miniscule and everything else in between, has or will happen to all of us.Just at different times in different places. Just the sheer fact of knowing that this common thread exists is very comforting. You know what I mean. That “Oh my god thank you for saying that out loud because I could never find the words” moment that lifts just a tiny burden off of you. That instant connection is magic plain and simple- watch it happen. Eyes light up, body relaxes and people talk a mile a minute- there’s usually a laugh somewhere in there and a smile or a shared cry. Either way it’s incredible.
I recently accompanied one of my best friends to a night of celebration for a workshop she completed. There were over 400 attendees. After having spent 3+ days together working on areas of improvements for their lives, these people who came as absolute strangers left entirely bonded-in their experience and in acceptance. Acceptance that part of the human condition is to be evolving -at every turn, at every stage, with each relationship and failure thereof. Some people would be “weirded” out by the experience- why would everyday Joes choose to take time out of their lives to sit in a room with a leader and move through exercises which evoked such very real feelings? Because they’re smart. Because they choose to recognize where they could benefit from a little kick in the ass. Because they aren’t afraid to learn or understand why things haven’t worked for them before with the behaviors they’ve always used. Because they have unsettled business or baggage like the rest of us 🙂 No matter how normal we pretend to be. How functional we make our relationships seem.
That night they took turns standing at the microphone to discuss possibilities they are committing to make for their lives. The room cheered them on, applauding their bravery. I, of course, was deeply moved. I have openly admitted how sensitive I am in the past. I was extremely proud of these people I have never seen in my life and maybe never will again. I know I was not the only one. There was a thread in that room, a very strong one. If I could give it a color it would have been gold.
I just got home from Puerto Rico. It’s been raining ever since. Naturally I’ve thought about my trip because I miss the warm weather the sunshine and the relaxation. I’ve also been thinking about who we met there. There was a very lively, older couple seated next to us at the Tiki Bar. God bless their little hearts they were animated and funny as hell. They told us they were on vacation celebrating their 51st wedding anniversary. We might have had an extra drink for them because how often do you hear that now a days? The woman was teasing our guy friends about keeping her man satisfied and chatting on and on. We may have even been a little taken aback at how bold she seemed to be. She smiled and told us to enjoy your life while you can, make the most of it. I could sense there was more to her statement that the surface. Others might find it hard to believe that she could smile and be present in the moment given her grave loss. This perfect stranger openly shared that she had lost both of her birthed children- one to a heart attack and another to cancer. We didn’t laugh so hard after. But here it is case in point, 51 years of marriage and two beautiful children later they weren’t excluded from pain or hardship or suffering, they’d clearly lived their share of a nightmare and somehow someway come out the other side. And here they were smiling and laughing with us drinking Ziggy Zaggys on the beach. How incredibly resilient.
How humbling to have them threaded into our vaction-to remind us what it is to be in the moment. To understand that no matter how bumpy your road may sometimes seem, you are never on it alone.
If you start to take notice around you you’d be amazed at how much more alike we really are than you’d ever noticed before. How incredible the threads are that make us human, vulnerable and beautiful all the same. Sooner or later you’ll learn to sew it all together because the bigger picture is so incredibly priceless 😉