destin(y)


des·ti·ny  

/ˈdestinē
Noun
  1. The events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.
  2. The hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.



I always opt for the window seat on an airplane. I figure aside from my departure and destinations it would be pretty difficult to ever get to see it “all”. The closest I will likely get is to take in this aerial view. Flying into NYC  on a clear summer night is a breathtaking thing-to see the outline of my home lit up in varying colors, shapes and sizes. To know that it’s vibrating with life underneath my aircraft was a very invigorating feeling. Home and back to business. Something about merely touching down that makes my heart race faster and my wheels start turning. 

As much as a vacation is a rest and relaxation period, the quiet time, the slower pace is often an eye opening experience. For me it is the chance to collect my thoughts, reflect on what’s truly around me-who and how I spend time back home while enjoying the feeling of being far enough away to be intrigued by the unfamiliar.  In not knowing a place like the back of your hand or what to expect there is a level of awareness that isn’t always turned on at home. On vacation you can really be whoever you want. On vacation your destin(y) may seem a little less foreseeable and lot more thrilling. All of that can also lend itself to a little bit of fear..which is okay too.

My recent trip came after a year or so of staying put. It also followed many significant changes in my life-a move, incorporating my business, the loss of a relationship and the feelings of leaving home for the first time in a long time after a period of illness for my family and the strength of our team approach to kicking it’s ass.  
Any woman can tell you-rolling all those things together can make for a personal crisis or if open to the lessons -an awakening. In being wholly truthful it means a shit ton of emotions.

If God has a plan, if he has a predestined map for our lives-where we will go, who we will meet on that journey, I trust him. In my mind and now my heart, I also know he makes room for our own input.  The road I am on now was in part paved by my faith in instinct, my curiosity, bravery and desire to expand the parameters of my life. To challenge myself and perhaps others who tend to point to circumstances as barriers. To live the life you want you’ll have to learn to politely ignore what others have set as limitations and understand that there comes a time to listen to yourself as the ultimate “judge”. You are a reflection of a higher being-whomever you choose to believe that is. Until you come to value yourself that highly your path can be fraught with indecision, fear and insecurity-so much so that it may debilitate, distract and derail you from where you truly deserve to be. I say deserve because we all have rights to live the greatest story we can imagine. I think it’s a shame that we receive these messages along the way that there’s a certain “way” to do it. Some order life is supposed to happen to you in. All the “theys” who “say” this and that-are as imaginary as the tooth fairy and dear old santa claus. I hate to be the bad guy on this-when my intention is to boost your sense of freedom-but be your own expert. Certainly there are professional we can trust, research and statistics that point to norms and generalities but I for one am not interested in a bell curve. I am embracing challenging the status quo. I like being an odd ball, free spirit, passion driven, self made maven. I am not afraid to consult those who have more experience than me and take serious heed in what they have to offer-but I will only ever use that for informed decisions while making it my own.

On my trip back home I had a layover in Charlotte, North Carolina. As anybody getting off an airplane I headed for the ladies room- to find the attendant singing beautifully. Her song was to her ‘God’, it was of thanks. Her voice was loud, proud and strong and not in a crazy way. Not in a disheveled-side of the sidewalk-praise Jesus way. She sang from her heart, her spirit and with conviction from her toes up. She was one of the most pleasant, well manicured bathroom attendants I’ve ever come across and she made me smile. She was just as grateful as I am, every single day, in even the most unlikely places. She greeted each and every “visitor” with unwavering pleasantries and she seemed genuine. The woman needs her tips so I didn’t fault her for the cup. What i did feel though was the need to thank her. I didn’t take notice of her name but I did encourage her never to stop singing-because it was evident it came from her soul, it is her gift and she is another example of a reflection of a higher being…even in the ladies room aside Gate B3 at the Charlotte Douglas International airport. I hope she believes in the power she has in her destin(y). By the sound of it-God is right nearby cheering her on.

The high of a vacation can fade as quickly as a tan when you’re back to schedules, appointments and surrounding relationships. Sometimes those things come with mishaps, miscommunications and occasional disappointments. It is human to err and get caught in situations we’d rather not experience-but as always we learn. I’d be a pretty beat up, bruised and scarred person laying flat on the floor if I chose to be a victim to life’s curveballs. If I chose to believe those people who don’t share my passion or understand my desire to make a lasting impression. What I’ve also learned, as hard a lesson as it is, is how truly far some people will go to attempt to knock you off course. With words, without them, with fallacies they have come to believe as true, fallacies they decide to inflict upon you. To challenge your integrity, your relationship with God and belief in yourself. It’s a shame. A shame that takes a lot of time to digest, a lot of poise to control retaliation and a strength to wish them well. 

In learning to accept what you truly deserve and how to alter your destin(y) you must come to terms with who you are. The good the bad and the ugly. That means your positive as well as room-for-improvement qualities, decisions you’ve made as well as any skeletons in your closet. Trust in the fact that at the time whatever decisions you’ve made were where your heart and your gut made up their minds to be. Most people don’t ever actually set out to do harm. At least that’s not what I believe. That’s not the world I choose to live in or the people I want to know. Don’t be a bully because it only reveals your own insecurities and isn’t actually about the other person. It comes from a place of fear. You may not realize your ability to cause someone you love pain. By the sheer act of loving or having loved them it is not what you mean to do. Trust that part of accepting yourself and what you deserve may mean having to make peace and say goodbye to something that no longer raises you. Something you may have wanted feverishly. Know that you are who you believe yourself to be, have beautiful gifts to give the world and should never allow anyone to try and cheapen that value.

Every day you have the power to change your destin(y). You end up on the wrong street where you find the house you’ve been dreaming of buying, you wait in line impatiently and bump into an old friend you’ve been meaning to find. You cry your eyes out over a love lost and you learn what love is really all about. How big it is, how much it can encompass, how many different kinds there are. Someone you thought you’d have much longer with is chosen for the other side and you hear of new life coming to join your family or friends. 

It’s exciting to believe part of this life carries surprises, luck and fortunate serendipities. In it’s own time it will reveal losses as well. All these experiences evidence that there is constant opportunity to revise, rebuild, rethink and revisit..whether we’d like to or not. Whether we planned to or not. It is important to believe and have faith that there is a greater power nearby helping to guide you. It is a blessing to be given and afforded the choice to surround yourself with positive loved ones. What is most crucial though- is to KNOW that aside from all of these “thems” it is within you this strength to alter your own destin(y). 

❤ 


*I chose to send the universe a version of my destiny in the bottle pictured. I gave the ocean wishes, intentions and prayers for my life- I wrote it in my own words & trust the power they hold. I hope wherever they end up, in whomever’s hands it is a gift to them as well-to start believing in their own. 

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