break

I want to break the silence and hope in doing so you get the break you’ve been waiting for. It seems you’re so deserving.  In this world we live in, in this race to somewhere, to impress the some “ones” we barely know or don’t. In the expectations, the apologies for shortcomings, internally and otherwise-in the constant stage light we place ourselves in or the impossible standards to which we hold one another.

This may sound counterintuitive but I want you to break. I hope you shatter yourself into fractions of pieces. If not self inflicted I hope you’re forced off a ledge to land anywhere but from whence you came or know. I hope you fall hard and fast and get hurt. I hope you experience pain like you’ve never had before. Once you’ve felt the cold, hard, pitiful bottom you still have to open your eyes before you can do anything else. The only way you should be seeing this world is with eyes wide, wide open. The only eyes you should look into, are ones that tell the truth. 

I don’t have to look far or for long to find broken souls. There are a lot of people I know who hide them or bare them completely-whether or not they’d admit to it, in one way or another. Then again, don’t we all at some place or point in our lives. Maybe some of us just find a crack large enough to let a light in…to legitimize life outside of our own personal disaster. In other cases it is a forceful arm that yanked us up when we hadn’t any strength left. Believe it or not, like it or don’t, it’s those kind of break throughs that we’re made for. Actually physically built to unfortunately meet and endure with suits of armor we learn to carefully put on for battle.

I want to break barriers for this conversation to happen. For people to believe they, just by the divine right of existing on this planet are worthy, of ALL sorts of love, luxury and abundance. I want to break the cycle of a generation consumed with facades and presence to virtual communities, a cycle of misrepresentations, assumptions and the consequences that come with it. I’ll pray you break them with me.

I hope you break your walls-even if you start by chipping. I hope you break the walls you built when you believed in someone who had a break from reality. The one who chose to break their word and purposely deceive you rather than being brave enough to break away. The one who wasn’t fair enough to break things up before they forced you off that ledge blindly-without knowing your world was about to disappear from underneath your own two feet. I hope you break down because of it. Because once you break down, you have to eventually get up.

If you ever break promises I hope they are the false ones you were lead to by other people, for reasons unbeknownst to you. They don’t belong lying around for trickery or pain, distorting your mind and perception of yourself and perhaps the other beautiful people that do exist.

I hope after you’ve been forced into unforeseeable pain you choose to surround yourself with just enough comfort to get you by before hurdling yourself into bravery. I hope from there you only break for the better- breaking fear and records. The kind that resonate within your soul, at the back of your mind and seem the most unattainable part of your wildest dreams. I hope you shatter them with will and pick up the pieces with a loving, prideful glow. Even when someone else was the reason you broke I hope you find the gratitude in it. I hope that breakthrough comes exactly as and when you need it to. Not too soon and not too late. Frankly, it’s just not up to you. I hope it happens when you least expect it to, when you feel completely raw and frozen in time waiting for something else to go wrong. I hope it’s then that you’re shaken into existence again, to breathe in the air of the truth. To believe in a person or a thing that will help put you back together. You’re not being fixed-your fixing your life exactly as you’d like to see it happen next.

Sometimes silence is good. In other cases we allow too much of it and so forth doubts are born, lies are invented and our hearts are convinced of the worst. Sometimes they’re right. But when the silence is for good, for sincere, genuine reflection it speaks volumes.  May you never settle for anything less than what you so truly, wholly deserve for your happiness. If you ever find yourself wondering if your headed down the right path, I hope the clouds part to shed the light you need. I hope you are given power to use the voice within you that’s begging for this break.

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