Being enough in someone else’s eyes is a bitch of a feat. The longing itself is a pure, raw desire. We abandon good judgment for it. At times it makes us rationalize the unfathomable and justify behaviors we would chastise others for. To say it is blind is truly an understatement. It is all consuming and sacrificing to bare one’s soul for another’s satisfaction. It is the ultimate test of faith. 

I belong to a frightening generation. One who focuses it’s connection and validity with constant and overwhelming comparisons. Lives and relationships are considered “real” by the exploitation of private moments for others enjoyment. I am surrounded by statistics of failure and I know the pain of its wrath. I speak this without concern of offense because it is plain truth. I have witnessed and lived it myself time and again and frankly am tired of pretending it isn’t a serious problem. I speak for both, I speak for many, I am not just me, I am those who have shared and bared their souls to these truths.

Our ego is a force to be reckoned with. He makes decisions for us where our conscious, sound minds would threaten him not to. He swells with pride when selecting objects of affection and hopes for the best. The trouble with his version of hope is that it isn’t rooted in reality. It isn’t founded or based on fact. It isn’t sensitive to our heart’s desire and right to meet one of the same. One who will take care not to diminish it’s power.

I mean not to say hearts will do no work in a healthy relationship. I don’t claim that we be alike in all ways but I warn that we share values, deeply rooted ones. I warn that we share a mutual want to support the other with strong conviction. I know we should build strength where the other may be weak and give of our affections effortlessly. We should empower, impassion and evoke emotions. We should aspire to euphoric states. We should find pleasure in the plainest of settings, simply by being a we there in that moment.

To be challenged is brilliant. To be on your toes, to make the effort where it is due. To exist solely in challenge is foolery. There are times we fight a tiresome fight with our pride not to “lose”. But when it seems that love has slipped right through our hands without our conscious consent, whether or not we are willing to admit-it has already gone. It has chosen another destiny and we ought to wish it well. It isn’t meant us. It is then the heart suffers along with the ego, but with very different pains. 

I ask us to become much more aware of character flaws versus behaviors. We cannot change who they are-they may change what they do. An unfaithful partner can shatter your world to pieces while a messy partner may only leave “pieces” around. A selfish partner is no comparison to one who knows how to make himself happy, alone. Some people are who they are because of their choosing.  Others have a natural inclination to or came to learn a behavior as acceptable. We love them in spite of their quirks, because their quirks make them them. Love should only be unconditional when the conditions are based only in love. Our souls and sanity should never be threatened simply to remain.    

Choose with your mind’s heart and your heart’s mind. You need not involve your ego this time nor your pride. Look for the one who can’t get enough of you. It is that one who will stop looking because you are more than enough. 

It is a bitch of a feat-to be enough in someone else’s eyes.  
When those eyes have left yours in gaze…be not afraid-I can promise you this, that karma she really is a bitch too. 

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