As the ocean pulled me to its soothing serenity I was asked to surrender my own. It is there that I pray for those I have once carried-over my back, under my arms, by hand or by heart. It is with the gentle waves I feel whole and fully supported to be free.
When in the presence of that kind of beauty it is no wonder you are heightened and aware of the miraculous. In the very moment I fell into the waters arms I came to prayer. This time and this piece are devoted to my two new earth angels-Natalie & Madelyn. It is like them that I have newfound hope in my heart, belief in my belly and newborn eyes. I recognize that, just like them, I am learning to see in color- at this point of my life it is a choice and the hues are even more so brilliantly bold.
I have never been one to keep quiet and in this quest across the world it has become more clear that my voice finds joy in justice. Many of my new friends have complimented that they are in awe of my ability to speak through the heart from the mouth, only truths and the delivery of my words seems to wrap love around whatever I’m saying..typically in affirmation and acknowledgment of others own light. I am both honored and humbled to hear this and of course, having to relearn accepting a proper compliment. (sigh) The bottom line being that love IS my language-albeit and regardless of others comprehension. I choose to reside only here because it has been my therapy, my grace and my poise to this point. “I am beautiful, I am whole, I live to serve a greater purpose.”
Here I am working on acceptance of all kinds but mostly-honor, worthiness and love. To continue to honor others and make them feel fully accepted when they have asked-with or without words. To honor the beauty, sanctity, sacredness that is this island, that is the planet, the earth. To honor myself for all I am, all I believe in, do and will. To honor even those I don’t agree with, understand or even frankly, like-because it is in discomfort and discord that comes growth. I accept this challenge with a light heart and always in pursuit of justice served.
I embrace my own worthiness. It is evident and time tested that from within is most gratifying. From within it is crucial, from within it is found. Only true devotion to this belief and harnessing of one’s power will provide the source for survival. “You are worthy, worthy you are-of worldly things and so much more”. Allowing your own aching desire to be worthy to sit with you, is brave. It is a courage not many will honor up front and a road not easily traveled. Honor your worthiness carefully, slowly and with love. Take care to recognize the child within, the newborn spirit and wholesome heart that is the only truth amongst many distractions, obligations and lies. Trust your knowing if something is missing-it will be the greatest gift you can imagine to live and move through from opinion and ego to essence.
Love. I am living to prove that it is all knowing, all encompassing, all righteous and fair. It is first, it is last, it is always. It is big, it is brave, it is scary. It means existing wide open with abandon of fear and neglect of pride. It is all, it is one, it is then, it is now. IT IS. I am love, love is me, love I am. I am learning and growing in the lessons to protect my light. I have teachers and mentors and friends alike who stand guard while encouraging this bravery-they celebrate its challenges and whisper emphasis to keep going- and only bigger in belief. Keep showing up fully to myself to my heart to my work. Those I love need not love me for it is not a selfish act. I am blessed and protected by it regardless of others conformity and being, breathing, walking truth by living and shining its light. “I am beautiful, I am whole, I live to serve a greater purpose”. It is in the steadfast commitment to myself that a deserving partner with eventually pursue. I need not chase, worry, or give priority to its timing because it is not my interest to do so. I am here to be present to myself-in honor in worthiness and in love. It is, as anything else, in the hands of divine timing and I undoubtedly, supremely trust. It is in this devotion to my glowing heart that I am whole and happy. It is in love that I am home to myself and all there is in this wild and precious life. Love is all there ever was and will be.
In coming to know them embodied and loving these newborn girls I am replenished. I am braver for them, I am stronger too. It is through them and their innocent, beautiful presence that I see love. I hold it and know it by heart. They are the answer, the truth and the light. And I only hope they see mine as a source for their life as they grow. Of the many things life will soon teach them I pray these few things of many. That they:
Knock not for the answer but the courage. Ask and soon receive. Trust & know. Love beyond measure, comprehension and kind. Break boundaries, rules, hearts and barriers. Beat fire, breathe deeply, show grace…And to dance in their breathtakingly, beautiful, own unique light.
To my two newest loves-thank you for being the miracles I need to keep believing.
Natalie Marie & Madelyn Yvonne