Take the high road. Trust me, it’s the road less traveled. It isn’t always easy, and not many people are brave enough to do so. We easily fall prey to holding grudges and sticking to “our guns”. Proving a point-right? But to who? The longer you hold on to the anger or point, you’re only fooling yourself. It begins to reside within you and then it starts to gnaw. It isn’t easy to put aside your pride, to be willing to forgive. Maybe you don’t even have to forgive wholly, maybe you allow yourself the permission to forget the hurt it caused and the person who faltered. Taking the high road doesn’t always mean turning the other cheek, sometimes it is truly for you. It is so that you may have a “peace” that the actions of another would not allow. We have all been hurt in the past and probably caused some hurt ourselves. We all have scars. Some of us choose to live according to them and others choose to live beyond them. That feeling in your gut, your heart, your brain- it too shall pass, I promise. Put on those hiking boots because it may get tough at times, but at the top-how sweet it is. Take in the satisfaction and the view and the air. Breathe deeply and let go. You can thank me later 😉
This post is inspired by my great great aunt who just celebrated her 100th birthday. She is the most petite thing ever but she packs a whole lotta punch. Aunt ‘A” resides in a nursing home about 15 minutes from my house and whenever given the opportunity I get to visit her. She might beg to differ but the pleasure is all mine. These visits have become so special to me, in which I find much entertainment and pride (not only of the genes in my family). My aunt is by far one of the trendiest residents at Cedar Manor-always putting on her stockings so that she may wear a skirt, because pants are for men according to her. She has matching sweater sets and jewelry and the chicest salt and pepper bob haircut. She hugs with such love and kisses you never forgetting to tell you just how beautiful you are. She is a dancer-my favorite one liner is “Shake it but don’t break it” as she wiggles holding on to her walker. When we talk about her nights on the town she tells me she didn’t drink at the bar, she danced on the bar. She is a riot. She reminds me to be patient, to love and to welcome people in- to my home, to my heart, to my gifts. And of course- to dance. She’s lived 100 years- I trust that she has done something right.
Another guilty pleasure of visting my aunt is the other more “mature” friends I get to make. Everytime I go I remind myself to listen patiently to what they share- when all you have left in your life are stories to tell, someone should be listening. These people have loved and lost, had successes and failures, careers and titles to rival, families-some who visit and some who don’t. They are still, as far as I’m concerned, full of life. They treasure the simplest luxuries-sharing a meal religiously at 12pm with their friends. They stare out of the windows adoringly at the Hudson River because they may never leave again. They “get it”. They remind me to stay grounded, to work hard, to be brave and to be fair.
I am humbled to know them.
This post is 101-an extra year full of wishes for my aunt on her 100th birthday.
*In loving memory of my grandpa (poppy) who also resided at Cedar Manor and the loving lessons he taught me as well ❤
It’s your turn. Once you decide it is…
Do you think of things and wish for them? Look at other people and say “I want that”? STOP. Right this second! Know why- “To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.” It isn’t the YOU you need to change- it’s the how and when. There are only two ways to happiness- lower your expectations or change your circumstances. I clearly do not reccommend settling, so poo poo to the first! Now don’t think this is going to happen overnight. Change takes time,practice and a real, true understanding of yourself, your instincts and your heart. It happens in baby steps- in little ways and little things that reassure you you are on the right path. Believe in it. Your body will tell you. What you want will become real and you can have it- once you decide it’s your turn.
No one is going to walk up and hand you your dream, you’ve got to fight for it. Blood, sweat, tears, maybe even firing breathing dragons- you get the gist 🙂 Sometimes you might need some help from outside of yourself, and that’s okay- but you better get good at asking for it. You definitely don’t get anything you don’t ask for. Decide what you want and don’t apologize for it -ever. Go and make it so– I dare you.
This morning I was reminded how important it is be to a helping hand. I don’t mean physical labor, more like a labor of love. When someone in your life needs you to be present for them it is your job to do the best you can. Here’s the trouble we often face- it is instinctual to want to “rescue”, to step in and make things better, but in reality that is likely not what the person asked you for. They asked you to BE there. They don’t need you to tell them what to do or how to do it, they want you to just be you– which is why they came in the first place. If there wasn’t trust and safety between the two of you why would they bother? If you take anything let it be this- dont just hear them out but LISTEN. Listening is entirely different. Don’t tell them they are right or wrong, feelings are neither right nor wrong- they are feelings, unique and unto themselves.
If you choose to help, walk beside them. Don’t lead, don’t follow- this way if they need you they can reach out for your hand.
Remember the last time you got a “just because” card or someone left a note on your desk while you ran to lunch? I know you smiled-because the feeling of being thought of is so special. What’s the big deal it’s just words on paper, oh contra ire! When all we do is jet through life at lightening pace and text because calling takes up too much time we aren’t accustomed to thoughtfulness. I remember buying pretty paper specifically for the purpose of leaving college roommates love notes. I still remember the feeling of getting a note from mom in my lunchbox. It’s all the same. I have one friend who is so consistently fabulous with remembering special occasions with cards or handmade gifts that I say every time I receive one- she beat me AGAIN.
If you keep on “meaning” to call or drop by it may not happen and then you become a victim of the horrible reason/setting that brings you together. You know where you all say we should have made this happen sooner. So do it. Do it now when it matters. While you can enjoy a laugh or cause a smile. Leave a quarter in a meter, hold a door (even if the miserable crab doesn’t say thank you) tell someone how cute their kid is (cute or not). You’d be amazed at how people are surprised at kindness. So pay it forward, pass it on, whatever you want. Just do it- because you may never get another chance.
It’s taken me too long to get this started, but it’s NEVER too late to do something you want. This blog is meant for sharing and practicing the advice of others, perfect “strangers”-who all share something in common- a story. I have always believed that every single person I pass in the street, in the supermarket, at the gas station, the gym and the post office have a story all their own which makes them who they are. I happen to be the exact kind of nerd who is entirely too curious. Maybe it’s my counseling background or my intuitive nature, either way I’m interested and thrilled all at the same time to listen.
The url of this blog refers to exactly that point-we all have “one” what’s yours? I’ll be sharing stories and the little things that I encounter in my life, the words of wisdom and love, encouragement I have received along the way. Welcome ❤